Comments on: Mrs. Bouhammer Guest Post; FRGs are Priceless in the time of Crisis http://www.bouhammer.com/2009/09/mrs-bouhammer-guest-post-frgs-are-priceless-in-the-time-of-crisis/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=mrs-bouhammer-guest-post-frgs-are-priceless-in-the-time-of-crisis A blog about Military Issues, Afghanistan, and everything in between Sat, 11 Feb 2012 13:26:57 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Army reserve dad http://www.bouhammer.com/2009/09/mrs-bouhammer-guest-post-frgs-are-priceless-in-the-time-of-crisis/comment-page-1/#comment-4773 Army reserve dad Thu, 17 Sep 2009 18:25:58 +0000 http://www.bouhammer.com/2009/09/mrs-bouhammer-guest-post-frgs-are-priceless-in-the-time-of-crisis/#comment-4773 My son is deployed with another unit out of his home state. His mother an I attended the pre-deployment "yellow ribbon" event at the units home base. The classes and break out sessions that we attended never really addressed this subject specifically. They talked about insurance and the legal things but not process of communication. They gave out Unit leaders contact info and the red cross info, but not how to handle unit communication or what happens when there is a unit casualty. I give the Army Reserve credit for trying to get the families of soldiers informed about their sons (& daughters, husbands, wives and children) active military service. I can only imagine the general lack information provided in virtually every other military conflict (both WW's Korea, Viet Nam etal) in the history of the United States. However many of the seminars were government speak. The send off was great, the band, Governor, the hotel, law enforcement & Patriot riders. Brought tears to this old man's eyes. However the usable information was not sufficient in one parents opinion. My son is deployed with another unit out of his home state. His mother an I attended the pre-deployment “yellow ribbon” event at the units home base. The classes and break out sessions that we attended never really addressed this subject specifically. They talked about insurance and the legal things but not process of communication. They gave out Unit leaders contact info and the red cross info, but not how to handle unit communication or what happens when there is a unit casualty. I give the Army Reserve credit for trying to get the families of soldiers informed about their sons (& daughters, husbands, wives and children) active military service. I can only imagine the general lack information provided in virtually every other military conflict (both WW’s Korea, Viet Nam etal) in the history of the United States. However many of the seminars were government speak. The send off was great, the band, Governor, the hotel, law enforcement & Patriot riders. Brought tears to this old man’s eyes. However the usable information was not sufficient in one parents opinion.

]]> By: Cass http://www.bouhammer.com/2009/09/mrs-bouhammer-guest-post-frgs-are-priceless-in-the-time-of-crisis/comment-page-1/#comment-4746 Cass Thu, 17 Sep 2009 03:40:24 +0000 http://www.bouhammer.com/2009/09/mrs-bouhammer-guest-post-frgs-are-priceless-in-the-time-of-crisis/#comment-4746 Good description of the situation Mrs.B. I shared your post with others. The military is a peculiar beast and most people don't understand how it works. Good description of the situation Mrs.B. I shared your post with others. The military is a peculiar beast and most people don’t understand how it works.

]]> By: Carol Steward http://www.bouhammer.com/2009/09/mrs-bouhammer-guest-post-frgs-are-priceless-in-the-time-of-crisis/comment-page-1/#comment-4744 Carol Steward Thu, 17 Sep 2009 01:48:13 +0000 http://www.bouhammer.com/2009/09/mrs-bouhammer-guest-post-frgs-are-priceless-in-the-time-of-crisis/#comment-4744 Great explanation Mrs. Bouhammer!! You really defined the methods, reasonings and results of proper notifications. I hope a lot of people read this blog because you have taken time to spell it out so clearly that anyone should be able to understand and follow. Love you and see you soon!! Great explanation Mrs. Bouhammer!! You really defined the methods, reasonings and results of proper notifications. I hope a lot of people read this blog because you have taken time to spell it out so clearly that anyone should be able to understand and follow.
Love you and see you soon!!

]]> By: Cassandra http://www.bouhammer.com/2009/09/mrs-bouhammer-guest-post-frgs-are-priceless-in-the-time-of-crisis/comment-page-1/#comment-4737 Cassandra Wed, 16 Sep 2009 15:34:37 +0000 http://www.bouhammer.com/2009/09/mrs-bouhammer-guest-post-frgs-are-priceless-in-the-time-of-crisis/#comment-4737 Excellent post, Mrs. B. My husband has been a battalion cdr of Marines. We did a lot of these notifications as well as serving as CACOs - the Marine equivalent of a CAO. If there is anything I have learned in nearly 3 decades with the Marines it's that: 1. Families get things wrong ALL THE TIME for a variety of reasons - some good, some bad. Whenever a disturbing story or rumor starts to make the rounds, it's important to STOP, ASK QUESTIONS, and VERIFY THE FACTS before going off half cocked. If more people would do these simple things, there would be a lot less stress and misinformation out there. 2. FRGs are indeed priceless but they are not immune to flaws in human nature. Used properly, they spread verified information from the command and keep families informed. Used improperly or in violation of some very well thought out rules, they can be used to spread panic and misinformation. The same is true of the Internet or any vehicle designed to inform. Which just reinforces item #1: it's important not to suspend our critical thinking functions just b/c a story is upsetting. Stop. Ask questions. Get the facts. Thank you for the invaluable context you've provided to a difficult and painful issue. Excellent post, Mrs. B. My husband has been a battalion cdr of Marines. We did a lot of these notifications as well as serving as CACOs – the Marine equivalent of a CAO.

If there is anything I have learned in nearly 3 decades with the Marines it’s that:

1. Families get things wrong ALL THE TIME for a variety of reasons – some good, some bad.

Whenever a disturbing story or rumor starts to make the rounds, it’s important to STOP, ASK QUESTIONS, and VERIFY THE FACTS before going off half cocked. If more people would do these simple things, there would be a lot less stress and misinformation out there.

2. FRGs are indeed priceless but they are not immune to flaws in human nature. Used properly, they spread verified information from the command and keep families informed. Used improperly or in violation of some very well thought out rules, they can be used to spread panic and misinformation.

The same is true of the Internet or any vehicle designed to inform. Which just reinforces item #1: it’s important not to suspend our critical thinking functions just b/c a story is upsetting. Stop. Ask questions. Get the facts.

Thank you for the invaluable context you’ve provided to a difficult and painful issue.

]]> By: AFSister http://www.bouhammer.com/2009/09/mrs-bouhammer-guest-post-frgs-are-priceless-in-the-time-of-crisis/comment-page-1/#comment-4736 AFSister Wed, 16 Sep 2009 15:33:26 +0000 http://www.bouhammer.com/2009/09/mrs-bouhammer-guest-post-frgs-are-priceless-in-the-time-of-crisis/#comment-4736 I read about that story the other day, and my first thought was "It was a prank- everyone with deployed family knows messages like that are delivered in person." But the more I read the story, the more it sounded like it really was a death notice phone call. Now that I've read your analysis, I think you're probably right. You know how when you ask a question, like "Do you want ice cream?", and the answer you get is "NO... but I'd like a popsicle", sometimes you stop really listening at "NO"?? I'm guessing this family did that. They heard "son's.. killed" and didn't hear the words in between- "SOMEONE IN YOUR son's UNIT WAS killed". Either that or the message was terribly wrong, and the FRG contact had bad information and they were just following up with the family following the CNO notice. Either way, I'm glad their heartache turned into tears of happiness after they found out he was ok. I read about that story the other day, and my first thought was “It was a prank- everyone with deployed family knows messages like that are delivered in person.” But the more I read the story, the more it sounded like it really was a death notice phone call. Now that I’ve read your analysis, I think you’re probably right.

You know how when you ask a question, like “Do you want ice cream?”, and the answer you get is “NO… but I’d like a popsicle”, sometimes you stop really listening at “NO”?? I’m guessing this family did that. They heard “son’s.. killed” and didn’t hear the words in between- “SOMEONE IN YOUR son’s UNIT WAS killed”. Either that or the message was terribly wrong, and the FRG contact had bad information and they were just following up with the family following the CNO notice.

Either way, I’m glad their heartache turned into tears of happiness after they found out he was ok.

]]> By: David M http://www.bouhammer.com/2009/09/mrs-bouhammer-guest-post-frgs-are-priceless-in-the-time-of-crisis/comment-page-1/#comment-4733 David M Wed, 16 Sep 2009 15:01:39 +0000 http://www.bouhammer.com/2009/09/mrs-bouhammer-guest-post-frgs-are-priceless-in-the-time-of-crisis/#comment-4733 The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the blog post <a href="http://www.thunderrun.us/2009/09/from-front-09162009.html" rel="nofollow">From the Front: 09/16/2009 </a> News and Personal dispatches from the front and the home front. The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the blog post From the Front: 09/16/2009 News and Personal dispatches from the front and the home front.

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