I have labored over the last 24 hours on how to write the following blog entry. See I know a lot of people are following this blog now, many more that I don’t know then I do know. There is my wife and kids, my parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, and many friends I am close to through my years in the military and civilian sectors. There are also people following this blog that are here in country on the same mission I am on, some that are coming to A-stan on the next rotation in 2007 and parents and loved ones of other soldiers that are here. It is because of this I have been torn about whether to write about the events of 9/8/06 or not. The one I worry about most is my Mom, but you know my mom has been a wife of a Special Forces soldier her whole adult life. A soldier that because of his job was in harms way many more times than the US govt will ever admit too. She has also weathered me being in combat once before and me spending a year on the DMZ in Korea. She is no dummy, and knows that this is no boy scout camp over here.

My decision was finally reached when I realized that I am not here to fool or sugarcoat anything or anybody. This place is a friggen war zone and war is painful and sometimes hurts. I don’t care what the news says or how they say it, people die in Afghanistan the same way they do in Iraq…with their heart taking one last beat. In the last 24 hours several soldiers have died in this country. Two were killed in Kabul yesterday as their convoy was rammed with a suicide bomber and two were killed within feet of me yesterday. The two in Kabul were American soldiers, the two with me were ANA soldiers. Soldiers all the same. All fighting for the same cause, and all fighting the same enemy. Kind of ironic that just a little over a week ago I was posting entries, photos and videos of Kabul and then on the same road I was on in a convoy going around traffic circles a convoy was hit yesterday. Also ironic that in the last week while on the way to a mission we were hit with and IED, within the first hour of arriving at our destination we were rocketed, and then yesterday after a very successful mission we were hit with an IED again.

Among the happy stories of Humanitarian drops, throwing candy to kids, and mentoring about how to clean up a base, there is a war going on. A war where everyone outside my wire must be considered the enemy, an enemy that would just as soon as see me dead as me throw their kids candy. Not everyone is our enemy as most here just want peace. But until there is a way to tell a difference they must all be considered that way. Usually the tell-tale sign is when they are trying to kill you, but by then it is too late.

Twenty-five feet, that is all it took. 25 feet separated me from being here and me being shipped home in a box. See this SOB was trying to blow up my truck, but due to several factors of technology, driving TTPs, and I believe God watching over me he was not able to. However he was able to blow up the truck behind me, and the word blow up does not do it justice. In order not to give the enemy propaganda or intel I will not post pictures of the truck, craters, or anything else. Trust me, you really do not want to see them anyway. It did not resemble a truck when all was said and done anyway. The truck was filled with 4 ANA NCOs, and some of the best ones I have met. These were guys that I just sat down and had dinner with a few nights before to celebrate our big mission we were undertaking. For opsec reasons I will not discuss ranks or names, but the loss of these guys has a severe impact on the ANA.

These were NCOs that were running back and forth through the convoy to make sure everyone was ok and dealing with issues. When one of the US soldiers driving a Humvee had to make an emergency stop because he was sick, it was these guys, these Afghan soldiers, who drove back to the rear of the convoy to take him medicine. They did not have to, and really should not have for their own safety, yet they did.

And it was not more than 30 minutes after that as I was taking evasive maneuvers in a choke point and just coming out of it that time stood still and also sped up to a blur all at the same time. I felt the back of my truck lift off the ground before I heard the sound, with the shockwave pushing through me. Once before I talked about how the mind can move faster and think and see things faster than we can comprehend, and that is what happened here. As soon as my mind registered that we got hit, I did 3 things almost instantaneously. I punched the accelerator so hard I thought the pedal was going to go through the floor, looked in my mirror to see black smoke and brown dust enveloping the back of my truck and turned to yell to Scooter. Scooter was in the hatch, and the gunner is always the most exposed. Luckily for him, his natural reflex was to buckle his knees and drop inside. I think I yelled for him like 3 times asking if he was all right before he responded that he was. That was all within about 2-3 seconds. I then turned around to focus on the road and look for secondary IEDs. Somewhere I must have heard the .50 cal open up from the back of the convoy and I started yelling “ambush, ambush”. However later I found it was the rear truck opening up on the trigger man as he took off. Even know I don’t remember hearing it shoot, but I figure my mind must have and caused me to yell “ambush!”. I kept looking in my rear view mirror and saw nothing come through the smoke. I was calling higher on the radio telling them the ANA were hit. I think I told them we were fine, but I knew that truck behind me was not. He was on my butt since he was riding close to me the whole time. I knew then that the ANA truck behind me with 4 great NCOs in it was taken out. I went a short distance and then told higher I was turning around. I spun that 6 ton beast in the fastest 3 point turn I think I ever did and was hauling back to the site, while looking for ambushes or more IEDs the whole time. As we came up on it, I started calling in the sitrep as the scene of bodies, twisted metal, craters and truck parts blown everywhere presented itself. We stopped and then went into motion. Afghan and US soldiers working side by side. Putting wounded on stretchers, getting security out on the hill tops around us, and pushing a truck off of a pinned guy so they could get him out. I worked on getting the tac sat up, the 9-line medevac request called up, and the HLZ set up for the birds coming in while other guys were protecting us with gun coverage, others were putting the ANA security out, and more importantly several were working side by side with ANA medics trying to save lives. One guy that was in the truck was obviously dead, as I knew this when we pulled up. Three others were wounded but all were being cared for. As I was putting out the panel for the bird and looking back at the triage site, I was momentarily amazed as I saw ANA junior soldier medics and US field grade officers all on their knees trying to save this guy’s life. IVs were in, tourniquets were applied to severed limbs, pulses were being taken, medical gear was strewn everywhere. Terps were all around trying to distinguishing between who was telling what to who, and doing their best to keep both ANA and US informed of what the other was saying. I have always believed that it is in times like this, times of death and terror that the true side of men is shown and I saw it here.

It seemed like an eternity before the medevac showed up, but it wasn’t. It was there pretty fast and we even had fast mover and Apache coverage. Right before the bird showed up I looked back and saw the ANA and US together doing CPR, and I knew it was not good. I heard pulses being yelled out of “58” and things like “heavy labored breathing”. I could not wish those birds there any faster. We put the most critical on the first bird and it took off immediately, even before we had cleared the rotors. The next bird took the two other wounded soldiers, and as I help load the last one, he looked up and gave me a thumbs up. This guy smiles more than any other ANA soldier I have ever met. Every time I see him he goes out of his way to shake my hand and call me his buddy and is always smiling. Somehow by either the grace of my God or his God he squeezed out a half smile as he threw me the bandaged thumbs up. I knew he would at least be ok.

Once the birds were gone we focused on collecting evidence and treating it as a crime scene. Lots of pictures were taken, the one body was loaded up along with all the pieces we could find, and parts and pieces of the vehicle were collected. Many other actions had to happen also, and eventually many hours later we were able to leave. We got back to our FOB in the dark, after a very long day. It was a sad day for the ANA and for the US ETTs. The mission we ran for 3 days was highly successful and to have it end like this on our way back home was just a kick in the pants.

After we got back to our FOB the confirmed news came in that the one soldier, the driver of that truck, that everyone worked so hard on died on an operating table at the Forward Surgical Treatment center located at the FOB we just left. I knew in my heart it was not good and it would have taken a true miracle for him to pull through. He was a fighter and hung in there as long as he could, including even coming back to life after his heart had stopped. But the blast and shrapnel was just too much for his body to take. The sad thing is that the passenger who was sitting next to him and died instantly was his cousin. That poor family has a lot of grief on their hands, and even though my God is different than theirs they are in my prayers.

Heat and pressure forges the best steel into shape. This same concept of heat and pressure forge men together also. Today as I walked around, my new Brigade COL, CSM, the terps, the 10th Mountain soldiers with us, and more importantly the ANA all look at each other a little differently. For we were the ones out there yelling at each other, helping each other, and working side by side to save lives and still ensure our security. There is a bond there, a bond that only soldiers who are under heat and pressure can understand. It is a unspoken bond and one that cannot be described. Those hours yesterday, the images, the smells, the sounds will be something none of us will ever forget. For the four guys in my truck, we all know that we are lucky be here today. We were the target and thankfully they missed us, but unfortunately not everyone was as fortunate.

May God bless the souls of all fallen soldiers that fight with us, and may God protect all of us still around to fight.

I know many have wondered where I have been, sorry but things have been busy. I have tons of packages and mail to send Thank Yous for and I will. I have been out and about and playing army. Unlike what the media portrays there is a war going on here, and some days are not good ones. A lot has happened in the last few days, and I will try to find a way to talk about what I can.

More to come later.

Times have been busy around here lately. After getting back from my road trip to the 2 of the 3 biggest cities in A-stan, I have been going 1000 mph. It is a busy time of the year for us and guess what….rainy season is starting. GREAT. Yes, the flooding and all the rain we had last month were a fluke. This is when the real rainy season starts. SCHWWEEET.

I also have a new CSM to mentor. This is now my 4th CSM in this Kandak in the last two months. I don’t think I am that hard on them, but I have had 3 not make the cut since I came to this FOB. The running joke among the US ETTs is that I need to quit being such a harda$$ and not run anymore off. Of course I am not hard on them, as I am just a mentor. From first impressions the new CSM seems to be the most squared away and I think he may last. He seems to have his stuff together and I hope he can help me make a difference with his soldiers. I have given my standard speech to so many CSMs that I have it memorized already. Last night I gave most of it to him and I will finish up later this week. As for now, I am going to give him room to get settled and get to know his 1SGs and NCOs.

Also a heads up that I put up some videos of driving on the ring-road and driving through Kabul. They are a few MBs each so they may take a minute to download for you. I wish I had turned on my camera earlier in Kabul but I was pre-occupied with some hairy traffic. By the time I thought about it I had gotten out of the worst of it. The ring-road drive was actually pretty. There was some nice pieces of greenbelt we drove through and the scenery with the mountains reminded me a lot of AZ and NM.

One thing I wanted to talk about was on the trip up to Kabul. We went through this one town that was having construction on the road. So the lead vehicle decided to follow some small cars on a detour. Only thing is our HUMVEES are not small. We actually drove through the open Market. Our vehicles are so wide that we were tearing down the wood poles they use to hold their awnings up. It was a very tight fit with people all around the trucks. We literally had our trucks bumper to bumper squeezing through there. People were so close and tight that they were rubbing against the sides. We got stuck in there with a vehicle in front of us and had 3 that were behind us. I was in the gun hatch and for the first time had to pull Betsy out. Thanks to her small size I was able to whip back and forth and push people back. The 240B could not lower enough to point as it is not meant for targets right next to the truck. I was yelling for guys in the truck to keep an eye out their windows for anything that looks bad or wrong. I was either screaming at people or yelling on the mic to get moving the whole time. Since I was in the trail vehicle I was pointing backwards and staring at a mob of people who were trying to get around us and shop. The vendors started pulling their awning poles back so we would not keep breaking them and other vehicles were trying to get out of our way. One of the other HUMMERS had a mirror bent and broken and an antenna mount almost tore completely off. Betsy was whipping back and forth and her two eyes were staring a lot of people down. My biggest fear was that someone would be stupid and take a shot in there. Had that happened it would have been a bloody mess. With over 150 people wrapped all around us, lots of hiding spots, and rooftops and being stuck I think we would have shot our way out of there. That was all that was running through my head “Please, don’t anybody shoot”.

It was a good example of how a good idea can go bad sometimes, and luckily for us nothing bad happened. We finally got out of there and were able to get back on the road. On our way back, we made it a point to get through even if we had to drive the construction vehicles out of the way ourselves. Thankfully they were done with that construction when we came back through several days later.

I am going to close now, and it may be a few days before you hear from me again as our internet is going to be getting worked on. So I may be offline for a few days….can’t wait to see how full my inbox will be when I get back online.

Well as I wrote about the other day I took a road trip to Baghram and Kabul. We ended up staying an extra day in Kabul to get some errands done and were able to acquire a lot of extra stuff that we needed. It gave those of us up there to track down things that seems to have a hard time getting to us through the normal supply channels. It was nice being at Camp Phoenix as they have all the comforts of home and then some. There is a subway van that serves subs, an Orange Julius, a Dairy Queen, PX, nice gym, etc. etc. Besides being very lucrative in the amount of stuff we acquired, it was a nice 2-day break to relax away from the same old FOB and people we see all the time. Even though the 2 days was a good breather, at the end of 2 days I was ready to go. Phoenix is not like a normal FOB, the people there are disconnected and not in touch with what is going on down here. It feels like being on a normal active duty base in the states, and not on one in a war zone. Anyway, I had enough of Kabul after two days and was more then ready to get back to our little “slice of heaven”.

The morning we left was a nerve-whacker. Just as much as driving into Kabul on the day we got there, driving out was just as bad. Going into Kabul I was the gunner, coming out I was driving…either way both are stressful. Driving out on a rush hour morning kept me on the edge of my seat, and luckily I had the mindset to film some of it. There are truly no road laws here and you can tell that there is no requirement to have a license or even prove you know how to drive in this country. The only thing that makes it bearable is that we own the road when we are on it. We are the biggest and heaviest trucks on the road, and we have guns. Except for certain instances in the city, afghans do not pass us at all. We pass them only. On the highway the trail vehicle, which was me on this trip, runs centerline and blocks all cars from trying to pass. Some people don’t like it, but that is the way it is in order for us to ensure our security.

On the way up to Kabul I was gunning and watched one taxi full of people rear-end another taxi full of people. We had slowed down for a truck we could not pass at that time. The taxi behind us was paying attention and also slowed down. The one behind it was not paying attention and tried to stop when he did notice, but it was too late. They all quickly jumped out and started arguing but we were pulling away and not worried about it. I then radioed my crew and announced that I did not think that cab was going to try and pass us now. 

Today is my anniversary, September 1st. Today marks 15 years I have been married to my beautiful wife Christine. I hate missing this day as I have hated missing all the anniversaries, birthdays and other special days I have missed since we first met, 15 ½ years ago. Christine and I met through my father while I was in the first Gulf War. I first laid eyes on her on April 23rd, 1991 and she took my hand in marriage on September 1st, 1991.

We have a wonderful family together and she is a wonderful mother, wife, and best friend. Love is a hard thing to understand and explain until you have it, and it is hard to imagine that I love her more now, 15 years later than I did then.

She is holding down the house as she always does while I am traveling with my civilian job and she is doing a great job. I am so very lucky to have her by my side and I thank God that I do.

I started my day by IMing with her and then recording videos for her of me opening up my anniversary gifts that she sent to me. I got them almost two weeks ago, but have held onto them until today so I could open it on the day I would open them had I been home. The rest of the day I spent on maintenance issues with my vehicle, weapons, optics, and other items that we pull maintenance on. In the grand scheme of things it was just another day here, another day closer to getting home. But to me it was special all day, because I felt her with me all day and I hope she felt me with her. My family is on my mind every day, but today Christine was just a little bit more. I miss her dearly as I do all my boys, and I love them all the highest Afghanistan mountains and back.